Am I the only person who thinks they’ll experience death by umbrella?
This irrational fear is a new one brought about by one to many near death experiences while climbing the stairs of Highbury and Islington station. Not a day goes by without some idiot waving about their umbrella (pointy side aimed at my eye). I’ve gotten to a point where I’m skittish like a young wounded wildebeest.
Just today I nearly caused a human traffic jam avoiding being poked in the eye by an older gentleman’s umbrella. That’s not to say ‘oblivious umbrellious’ as I like to call it is a older person disease, no this disease can strike anyone down in the peak of their life, suddenly they feel the need to carry an extremely large umbrella and then swing their arms like a continental soldier, forgetting that people behind them like both their eyes just where they are.
I’ve taken to making weird sounds in response to nearly losing an eye , gentle MEWS of fear and the occasional Arghhhhh. I figure these people with their large umbrellas and no respect for human life, live in a world devoid of logic but perhaps in this world they react to sounds of fear.
I just don’t want to die by umbrella. How humiliating!
Here lies Anna-Lisa struck down in her peak by an umbrella to the eye.
Oh the shame!
People would wear umbrella broaches and a whole sensible umbrella walking campaign would be started. Though at least something good would come from my demise.
Enough of my random musings I’ll leave you with this thought…
It’s all fun and games til someone loses an eye… then it’s fun and games noone can see