My (ex) boyfriend once said what he loved most about me was my idiosyncrasies. I was hoping he liked my ass but alas I’ll take what I can get. So obviously that relationship didn’t last and now I’ve got all these idiosyncrasies that aren’t actually that lovable unless you’re into Liz Lemon.
Some of my idiosyncrasies that I’m willing to talk about in public are:
* Irrational fear of Adult Cot Death – Not common but I’m so scared I set an alarm even if I’m trying to sleep in (like that will help)
* I can’t sleep with mirrors facing me- too many Japanese horror films and some feng shui thrown in
* Love of all things panda and other black and white mammals such as badgers and killer whales.
* Irrational fear of sharks coupled with a complete fascination of how cool they are.
* Inability to travel to Thailand for fear of tsunami’s
* Obsession with Buddy Holly and all men who vaguely look like him
* I fondle diet coke cans daily searching for the coldest one in the fridge
* Dislike of overly long tongues
These are the ones I can think of on the spot which is not a good sign because it’s the ones you don’t know about which are usually the weirdest.
God help the next poor bastard who tries to date me.
So I took my slightly single ways to New York for some spending therapy and general tom foolery.
1 week in NYC= 850 quid = OUCH = baked beans for the rest of the month
I had a great time, although my dreams of hot men finding my foreign accent sexy crashed completely.
In general any boy hunting failed completely but I enjoyed sight seeing too much to be offended. What did offend me was how people were weirdly cliquey in Williamsburg (supposedly the Dalston of NYC).
I felt very clean and pretty darn excluded from bars in Williamsburg. The regulars were like the characters from The League Of Gentlemen. Tattooed woman grumpily murmuring ‘You’re not local’ in my ear was a little too much for my vacation. I wanted to like Williamsburg because I live in Dalston, but there definite moments were I doubted the comparison between the two.
One- Dalston is a judge free zone, I’ve been at Jazz bar at 5am in the morning dancing with bankers to Will Smith and Jazzy Jeffs Summertime and had a smashingly good time. Two – people in London regardless of musical taste dress WAY better than New Yorkers and don’t judge others need to express themselves through colour . Three – People are familiar with cultural diversity and embrace fun to be had in many languages.
The most fun I had in NYC was in the Lower East Side – people were friendly and not offended by my colour coordinated to the max outfits.
I think the comparisons between Dalston and Williamsburg need to stop as they’re misleading. Maybe Dalston should be compared to the Lower East side since I’m now its biggest fan and thinking of designing a new T-Shirt range cleverly including I heart Lower East side in one T-shirt, not to be confused with I heart Les Paul or I heart Lesbians (although I think both Les and lesbians are pretty darn rocking) x
I’ve been doing a little soul searching (not alot – I’m scared what I’ll find)and I’ve discovered I’m being a slave to society. I’ve been convinced, despite my whining, I’m happy being single but if I don’t view the single life as a disease then why am I looking for a cure?
The answer is that I’m beinginfluenced by society. Those bastards with their gladiator sandals and harem pants are making me feel like the monkey from Outbreak, although I’m not sure if that monkey got set up on as many blind dates as me.
I’m the girl people think of when their newly single guy friend is feeling down about the quality girls left on the shelf. It could be worse I could be the girl they don’t mention for fear of sending their friend into a deep depression, but still they should be affirming the joys of being single not trying to ‘fix’ the situation. Seeing people happy and partner free must seem awful to some couples, I’m sure they’re worried it’s contagious.
Most of my friends are currently single or at least pretending they are but since I do socialize outside my core group occasionally there is no escaping interactions with people who say ‘I can’t believe a nice girl like you is single’ well believe it and be jealous !
I get to star fish in bed, eat in bed, hog the covers and snore to my hearts content. Of course these are the only things that happen in my bed but lets not get caught up in the details.
What being single needs is a PR compaign. We need to change the view that singles are losers and/or promiscuous STD riddled weirdos. I’m thinking posters, badges and maybe a tshirt that says ‘I put out and all I got was this lousy tshirt’.
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best. ~ Woody Allen